It’s a great day, you are drinking water, your skin is glowing and your hair is thriving when you get a call from your Auntie (this could be a biological sibling to your parents or a family friend).
Auntie asks you how you are doing? How school or work is going? You chat for a bit and then she hits you with a strange request ‘Maame, can you send me your picture?’ You think the request is a bit weird but tell her ok.
You send a nice picture of yourself to her through WhatsApp (every GH auntie uses this app) and think nothing of it. A few days later your Auntie calls again and says ‘Maame, someone will be calling you, so please answer your phone’.
You my dear girl have been set up. Auntie is trying to find you a husband. Never a boyfriend, they don’t have time for that, straight to husband for them. You must marry.
This is likely to happen to you as soon as you finish University and haven’t introduced your family to a potential life partner. The older you get the more frequent it will happen because you are delaying and hindering your mother and father from being grandparents. Your mother might even be the secret ring leader of ‘The Aunties’ telling them ‘you people help me find someone for her, she is taking too long’.
So I am here to help you navigate this situation. I have been there (kind of still there) and my suffering can’t be in vain. I must give you a few tips on how to handle the situation where you can maneuver these awkward situations and not look disrespectful to ‘The Aunties’.
Give Auntie The Picture
Don’t fight her on this. After awhile you will know what Auntie means when she says ‘send me your picture’. If you have Aunties like mine you will constantly have to send a picture and wonder what they do with the old one you sent. It might seem annoying to send a picture when you don’t want to be set up by them but help your Auntie out.
Men are visual. The guy needs to see a pic so he can tell Auntie YES he is interested or lie that he in fact does have a girlfriend and save yall from an awkward first phone conversation that sounds like a job interview. I spoke to a friend and guys don’t mind being asked to talk/or meet a niece or daughter. They are flattered. So don’t see this as being embarrassing.
Don’t be difficult unless you don’t trust this particular Auntie and feel like you need to call your Pastor. Give her a pic, most of the time it leads to nothing. You might be too short/tall for the guy and never hear from him which makes him look like a disrespectful boy who can’t be a part of the family because he doesn’t listen to his elders. While leaving you to look like a saint who is doing her part to get married as soon as possible.
Answer The Phone
You are a fine girl. You are Party Jollof. Of course the guy saw your pic and liked what he saw. He will call you. It is your job to answer the phone. Pick up your phone Maame. Don’t play games, if you do Auntie will call you to ask what is going on. Auntie will have called the guy to see if he tried calling you, and once he says he has but never got an answer, Auntie will pounce on you. Don’t let them say you are not serious. Answer the phone, try and have a nice first conversation with the guy. See if there is a vibe and how it goes from there. It won’t be too bad. Even if it is you will have a story to tell your bestie when you hang up the phone. You know you want to laugh with her.
Go On The Date
You spoke on the phone with the guy. He thinks you are interesting and wants to learn more about you (and see if the pic matches up) so he asks you out on a date/meet up. Don’t panic. Even if you still don’t feel anything and aren’t sure go on the date. Here is why. If you don’t the information will get back to your Auntie and she will say what to you? ‘You are not serious’. She might even schedule deliverance with the Pastor because it has to be a spirit that is stopping you from looking at potential husbands seriously. You must marry.
If you want it can be a coffee date. Those can be like an hour tops and you don’t have to worry about getting too cute and wasting your time.
*side note* If after talking you feel your safety will be hindered by going out on date with the person, don’t go. It’s not worth it.*
Don’t Give Auntie and Dem Too Much Information
You know ‘The Aunties’ love to gossip. Don’t let them add you to their kokonsa list. If they ask you how things are going say ‘fine’. If you end up liking the person and start going out a few times, they don’t need to know you went to see a movie at Colossus and had a meal at Earls (GTA ppl know what I am talking about). They will use your ‘situationship’ as their filla and try and get involved. You don’t want that.
Don’t Be Too Honest
So you met the guy and don’t like him because he is balding and missing a front tooth (this happened to a friend of mine, I told her that her Auntie hates her). You can’t just say you aren’t physically attracted to the person. For some reason GH Aunties don’t understand the importance of physical attraction. So don’t bring it up as a reason for why you don’t like the person. Here is an answer you can give ‘Auntie, I prayed over the situation and I don’t think he is the one God has planned for me’. Most Aunties wont challenge God. They will leave you alone for a bit and go back to the drawing board for new guys they can introduce to you.
Tell ‘The Aunties’ what you are looking for
Help Auntie, help you get married. Tell her the kind of man you are looking for. Don’t worry about finances and religion. Auntie has already thought of that and has you covered. Tell Auntie if you want someone that loves reading, going to the movies, hiking and going on adventures. You never know Auntie might ask the guys questions to help her find the right one for you (and the family).
Overall don’t get too upset with ‘The Aunties’, they love you and want you to be with a good person. They are just helping you so you don’t delay anymore. Be serious.